eHarmony/Match/Chemistry/OKCupid/PlentyofFish/Seriously????
So for years, literally in some cases, my so called friends
were telling me to get into (onto?) the online dating scene. I mean, why not? Look at all the happy couples who met on
these sites! And I mean look at them on
TV because I haven’t met many, or any.
But I figured it’s 2009, the internet is the thing these days, and as my
sister would say, how’s the way you’re doing it now working for ya?
The first big decision was to choose which site to go on
since each apparently has its own personality.
eHarmony is the serious site – where you go to find “the one,” or at
least “the one for right now.” Match is
the hook-up site; Chemistry somewhere in-between the two. OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish are for the
people who don’t want to pay anything to find love, and/or want to find someone
a little (read: a lot) out of the ordinary.
I choose to start on Chemistry – not too serious, but not just for
flings. Now to come up with my profile.
I enlisted my friend Renee to help me set up my profile,
because you really can’t write about yourself.
If it were up to me, I probably would have written something that would
scare away even the most courageous of suitors.
And since Renee was one of the people who thought this would be a good
experience, I made her work for it. So
we met for coffee with my laptop at the Barnes & Noble and started to describe
me and the qualities that I was looking for in a date – neither of which is an
easy task. Close to 2 hours later, we
were done and ready to send this out into the Chemistry world to find my guy!
Well, yeah, that didn’t work out exactly as I had planned. Most of the men the site was suggesting for
me were older (like, OLDER older) or geographically undesirable, and I wasn’t
able to look through the profiles. But I
didn’t give up hope! Instead I signed up
for the other two sites! That’s right. For three months I was on all of the “Big 3, “
really getting myself out there…
So here’s what happened with eHarmony - you know, the one where it's about your soul mate, not looks. I started corresponding with a guy from the Butler area. If you have been lucky enough to not have to do this, then I'll tell you...this is an exhausting process. First you get basic information about the person and if you decide you want to find out more, you ask a series of questions, send them to the person, they answer and can request others, etc. After a few rounds of this, you can graduate to emailing within eHarmony - so still no direct contact. Assuming you still like each other after that, you can then decide to exchange real emails and I guess get married and live happily ever after.
Well, this guy and I, let's call him Toby (only because Toby Keith is on the radio as I'm typing...and I can't remember his real name), made it through to the real email stage. And he sends me an email, "we made it to this stage, blah blah blah...how tall are you, what color hair do you have, how much do you weigh?"
Wait, what? I thought this was the site where it's all about who you are inside? Where it's not about looks! Or what color your hair is! And besides - I had pictures posted on the site! What in the world?
But I figure that eHarmony knows what I don't - remember all the happy couples from TV! So I respond to his email, and answer all of his questions except my weight. And he writes back...and says:
I notice you didn't answer how much you weigh.
Next...
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